Surviving Parenting as an Autistic Adult: Burnout, the Demands You Can't Escape, and a Possible Solution
AUTISM, NEURODIVERSITY, BURNOUT, CANNABIS, MARIJIUANA, THC
What the research on endocannabinoid deficiency might mean for neurodivergent parents—and what I've learned from my own experience
If you've ever read advice about recovering from autistic burnout, you've probably noticed something: most of it assumes you can actually follow it.
Rest more. Reduce demands. Create low-stimulation environments. Protect your energy. Decrease masking.
Great advice. Truly. There's just one problem.
I am a parent.
The Parenting Problem
Here's what most burnout advice doesn't account for: parenting young children has no off-switch. You can't take space when your toddler needs you. You can't reduce sensory input when the household is what it is. You can't "protect your energy" when the energy is being demanded whether you have it or not.
Danielle Aubin, an autistic therapist and parent, named this perfectly: "When we need space, a lot of the time our children need connection and closeness, and we can become overwhelmed and tapped out. When there are days, weeks, or months of this, we can risk entering into autistic burnout territory."
And for those of us who were parenting through COVID? The burnout hit different.
Research on neurodivergent families during the pandemic found that parent burnout among working parents hit 66%—and climbed to 77% for parents of kids with higher support needs. The demands exploded (homeschooling, no childcare, constant togetherness) while the resources vanished (no school, no babysitters, no escape routes).
I know it took me about 2 years, and a host of medications, to fully recover. The pandemic burned something down to the studs in my nervous system. Even after things "reopened," school breaks and sick days started activating my system in ways that felt disproportionate. Not just tiring—triggering. Like my body was bracing for survival before the kids were even home.
Then I Found Something That Helped
Almost by accident, I discovered delta-8 THC. It's the legal-ish, milder cousin of marijuana—you can find it at dispensaries and sometimes gas stations.
Delta-8 gave me something I didn't expect: I could stay with my kids instead of just near them.
The constant sensory monitoring softened. Transitions between activities stopped costing so much. The noise was still there, but it wasn't hitting my nervous system like an assault. I was present. Regulated. Able to respond instead of react.
I started being able to enjoy school breaks.
When I went looking for research to understand why this might be working, I found something fascinating…
The Endocannabinoid Deficiency Hypothesis
It turns out autistic people may have fundamentally lower levels of anandamide—the body's own internal cannabinoid, sometimes called the "bliss molecule." This isn't fringe speculation; it's showing up in multiple studies.
A 2019 study in Molecular Autism found that children with autism had significantly lower serum levels of anandamide compared to age-matched neurotypical controls. These differences held up even after adjusting for factors like ADHD. A scoping review of all human studies on autism and the endocannabinoid system found the same pattern: three of five studies reported significant reductions in anandamide in autistic individuals.
Why does this matter? Because the endocannabinoid system regulates exactly the things autistic people struggle with:
Sensory processing. The system mediates how we encode and respond to sensory information, helping modulate the balance of excitation and inhibition in sensory circuits.
Emotional regulation. It's a major player in stress response and anxiety.
Social reward processing. Neuroimaging studies have found links between cannabinoid receptor genes and how we process social rewards.
The excitation/inhibition balance. CBD has been shown to alter levels of glutamate and GABA—the main excitatory and inhibitory neurotransmitters—in both neurotypical and autistic brains.
Here's what this suggests: when I use delta-8 on a high-demand parenting day, I might not be getting "high" in any meaningful sense. I might be supplementing something my system doesn't produce enough of on its own. Filling a tank that runs chronically low.
What the Research Shows About Cannabis and Autistic Symptoms
I'm not the only one noticing this pattern. The research is still early, but it's pointing somewhere interesting.
A systematic review of cannabis and autism found improvements across multiple domains: reduced anxiety, irritability, hyperactivity, and sensory sensitivity, plus improvements in cognition, attention, and social interaction. A study published in November 2025 tracked nearly 6,000 cannabis use sessions by self-identified autistic adults. They found:
Sensory sensitivity reduced by about 68%
Anxiety and irritability reduced by about 76%
Repetitive behaviors reduced by about 70%
Concentration difficulties reduced by about 69%
These are acute effects—what people experienced right after using cannabis. But they're substantial.
Research from Cambridge found something else worth noting: while autistic individuals are actually less likely to use substances overall, those who do are significantly more likely to be self-medicating for specific symptoms. They're using cannabis to reduce sensory overload, improve focus, and cope with the exhaustion of masking. This isn't recreational use—it's functional, it’s survival.
About Delta-8 Specifically
Delta-8 THC is an isomer of delta-9 THC (the main psychoactive compound in marijuana) with a slightly different chemical structure. That small difference means it has lower affinity for CB1 receptors, which translates to milder effects. It has been a good place for me to start, especially since I am sensitive to medication.
A survey of over 500 delta-8 users found that about half were using it to treat health conditions—primarily anxiety (69%), stress (52%), and chronic pain (41%). Compared to regular THC, users reported similar relaxation and pain relief but with fewer cognitive distortions and much less anxiety and paranoia. Many noted they could use delta-8 and still be productive.
That matches my experience. I'm not impaired. I'm not foggy. I'm just... regulated. Able to handle the demands without my nervous system going into overdrive.
A few important caveats about delta-8: It exists in a regulatory gray area. While federally legal under the 2018 Farm Bill when derived from hemp, it's not FDA-regulated. This means quality control is inconsistent, and products can vary significantly. If you're going to try it, source carefully—look for third-party lab testing and reputable vendors. And be aware that some states have banned it entirely. And it may show up in your system similar to marijuana, if you’re being drug tested for employment.
What I'm Seeing in My Practice
As a therapist working with autistic adults, highly sensitive people, and trauma survivors, I've started having more open conversations about this. And I keep hearing variations of my own story.
Clients describe cannabis helping them stay present and connected with their children rather than just enduring time together while internally depleted. They report being able to respond instead of react. They can tolerate the sensory chaos of family life without becoming dysregulated.
This isn't universal—some clients find cannabis increases their anxiety or disconnection. Individual responses vary significantly. But for a subset of autistic adults, particularly those facing sustained high demands with no exit option, cannabinoids seem to be providing something their systems genuinely need.
The parenting context comes up repeatedly. It's the one demand you truly cannot escape or reduce. You can quit a job. You can leave a party. You can limit social obligations. But your kids need you regardless of your internal state.
What About Strains and Ratios?
If you're considering exploring this with a medical card (which I'm now doing myself), the research offers some guidance.
The clinical studies that showed positive results for autism typically used CBD-forward products. One Israeli study used a 20:1 CBD:THC ratio and found behavioral improvements in 61% of participants, with anxiety and communication improving in 39-47%. A Chilean study found improvements across the board using a mix of ratios, with most patients on either balanced (1:1) or high-CBD (20:1) extracts.
The general pattern from both research and anecdotal reports: high-CBD or balanced strains seem to be preferred over high-THC products for autistic individuals. CBD appears particularly helpful for anxiety and behavioral regulation, while some THC may be needed to activate the endocannabinoid system effectively.
For daytime parenting use specifically, you'd probably want something that provides regulation without sedation—a balanced or CBD-forward product that lets you stay functional and present.
Commonly mentioned options include Charlotte's Web (very high CBD, almost no THC), Harlequin (balanced ~5:2 CBD:THC), and Blue Dream (gentler sativa-dominant hybrid). But honestly, strain names are less reliable than cannabinoid ratios and terpene profiles. A knowledgeable dispensary pharmacist can help dial this in.
The Structural Problem Remains
I want to be clear about something: cannabinoids aren't solving the entire problem.
The actual problem is that autistic parents are expected to meet neurotypical parenting demands with neurodivergent nervous systems, usually without adequate support. We need:
Accessible childcare that accommodates neurodivergent kids and parents
Communities where parenting labor is shared
Cultural permission to parent in ways that work for our nervous systems
Recognition that the nuclear family model is particularly brutal for people who need more solitude and sensory regulation than it allows
Cannabis isn't fixing any of that. But it may be providing enough nervous system support to survive the gap between what we need and what currently exists.
If You're Considering This
A few thoughts:
Talk to your doctor or psychiatrist. This is especially important if you're on other medications. Cannabis can interact with some psychiatric meds, and having professional support helps you track what's actually working.
Start low and slow. Especially if you're sensitive (and many autistic people are). You can always take more; you can't take less.
Consider a medical card if available in your state. The products are tested, the dosing is consistent, and you have access to professionals who can help you find what works.
This isn't for everyone. Some autistic people find cannabis makes their anxiety worse or increases dissociation. If that's you, this isn't your solution—and that's okay.
Don't add shame to whatever you're already carrying. If you've been quietly using cannabis to survive parenting and feeling weird about it, you might be doing exactly what your nervous system needs. The research is starting to suggest there's a real biological basis for why this helps some of us.
The standard advice for autistic burnout assumes we can retreat. But parenting doesn't offer that option. For those of us facing demands we literally cannot escape, finding something that helps us stay regulated isn't weakness or cheating. It might be exactly what our chronically depleted endocannabinoid systems need.
I'm still figuring this out myself. I'm pursuing a medical card. I'm talking to my psychiatrist. I'm paying attention to what actually helps me show up for my kids instead of just surviving time with them.
If you're in a similar place, I see you. And I'd love to hear what you've learned.
Disclaimer: This article reflects my personal experience and clinical observations, not medical advice. Cannabis remains illegal in some jurisdictions, and delta-8 THC legality varies by state. If you're considering cannabinoid use, please consult with your healthcare provider, especially if you take other medications or have co-occurring mental health conditions. The research on cannabis and autism, while promising, is still developing, and individual responses vary significantly.
Hi, I’m Catherine. I’m so happy to share this time and space with you.
I’m a counselor and self-trust coach living on the Emerald Coast of Florida, on the unceded land of the Muscogee. I am a creative, mystic, and neurodiverse adventurer. I love writing, creating, and connecting.
I love helping folx Befriend Your Inner Critic, Become Your Own Best Friend, and reclaim your untamed soul. I enjoy hearing from you and walking alongside you on your journey.
With a full heart,
Catherine
