How to Find a Neuroaffirming Therapist: Key Questions to Ask
NEURODIVERSITY, ADHD, AUTISM, AUDHD, HEALING
Finding the right therapist can feel daunting, especially if you’re neurodivergent. Too often, therapy has been used to “fix” people—pushing conformity, masking, or compliance—rather than honoring differences. Neurodivergent-affirming care is about something else: creating safety, respecting your wiring, and helping you flourish without erasing your identity.
If you’re looking for a therapist who understands and affirms neurodivergence, here are some questions you might ask in an initial consultation:
1. What is your understanding of neurodivergence?
A therapist’s response will tell you a lot. Do they view ADHD, autism, dyslexia, or other forms of neurodivergence as disorders to be corrected? Or as natural variations in human brains that bring both challenges and strengths? Affirming care begins with seeing difference without judgment.
2. How do you adapt your approach for neurodivergent clients?
Look for specificity. A supportive therapist might mention:
adjusting session pacing,
offering written notes or visuals,
incorporating sensory regulation tools,
honoring stimming or movement during sessions,
being open to alternative communication styles.
If their answer feels vague, that’s worth noticing.
3. How do you support clients with executive function challenges?
For many neurodivergent people, traditional talk therapy isn’t enough. Ask how they help with practical strategies—like reminders, breaking tasks into smaller steps, or working alongside body-doubling supports.
4. What is your perspective on masking?
Masking—suppressing traits to appear “typical”—is often encouraged in harmful ways. A neuroaffirming therapist will recognize masking as a survival strategy, but not expect you to hide your natural self in their presence. They’ll want to create a space where you can unmask safely.
5. How do you understand and work with sensory needs?
Ask if they are willing to adjust lighting, sound, or seating. Do they see noise-canceling headphones, sunglasses, or weighted blankets as legitimate supports? Sensory safety is not optional—it’s foundational.
6. How do you incorporate intersectionality into your work?
Neurodivergence doesn’t exist in a vacuum. A good therapist will recognize how race, gender, sexuality, trauma history, and cultural background intersect with neurodivergent identity and shape your experience.
7. Do you have lived experience or specialized training?
While lived experience isn’t required, it can foster deep empathy. Specialized training in neurodivergence, trauma, and affirming therapies shows commitment. Ask what resources or communities inform their approach.
8. How do you approach goal-setting in therapy?
Some therapists assume the “goal” is to make clients behave more typically. Instead, affirming care supports your goals: more ease, better self-trust, healthier relationships, and thriving as yourself—not someone else’s idea of “normal.”
9. How do you work with self-advocacy and boundaries?
Neurodivergent people are often pressured into people-pleasing or compliance. Ask how they help clients develop self-trust, set boundaries, and honor their needs without guilt.
10. How do you handle feedback from clients?
Therapy should be collaborative. A neuroaffirming therapist welcomes feedback, adapts to your communication style, and encourages you to speak up about what isn’t working.
Closing Thoughts
The right therapist won’t just tolerate your neurodiversity—they’ll honor it. Asking these questions helps you discover whether a potential therapist understands what neuroaffirming care means: creating systems and relationships that support your unique nervous system.
Finding a fit takes time. Trust that you deserve care that doesn’t ask you to shrink, mask, or erase yourself. The goal is healing that affirms your humanity and helps you come home to yourself.
✅ Neurodivergent-Affirming Therapy Checklist
📄 Download Neuroaffirming Therapy Questions Checklist
Questions to ask in a consultation:
What is your understanding of neurodivergence?
How do you adapt your approach for neurodivergent clients?
How do you support clients with executive function challenges?
What is your perspective on masking?
How do you work with sensory needs?
How do you consider intersectionality in your work?
Do you have lived experience or specialized training?
How do you approach goal-setting in therapy?
How do you support self-advocacy and boundaries?
How do you handle feedback from clients?
✨ Bring this checklist to your consultation. The goal is not to quiz your therapist, but to ensure you’re finding someone who will affirm and support your whole self.
📚 References / Sources
This article draws on a blend of research, clinical frameworks, and lived experience voices in neurodivergent communities:
Barkley, R. A. (2021). ADHD: Nature, Course, Outcomes, and Treatment. Guilford Press.
→ Evidence that external supports for executive function reduce shame and improve outcomes.Kapp, S. K. (Ed.). (2020). Autistic Community and the Neurodiversity Movement. Palgrave Macmillan.
→ Explores masking, sensory needs, and the harm of normalization therapies.Neurodivergent voices & advocates:
Neurodivergent Insights (Therapist resources for affirming care)
ADHD Alien comics (lived experience illustrations of executive function)
Autistic Self-Advocacy Network (ASAN) position papers on affirming care
Therapy frameworks:
Hi, I’m Catherine. I’m so happy to share this time and space with you.
I’m a counselor and self-trust coach living on the Emerald Coast of Florida, on the unceded land of the Muscogee. I am a creative, mystic, and neurodiverse adventurer. I love writing, creating, and connecting.
I love helping folx Befriend Your Inner Critic and Become Your Own Best Friend. I enjoy hearing from you and walking alongside you on your journey.
With a full heart,
Catherine
